Dreaming has always been one of the most interesting things to me.  The first time I can remember focusing on my dreams was when my big brother told me I could dream about anything I wanted if I just focused really hard right before bed.  Well, I quickly realized that wasn’t exactly true.  It did get me thinking about my dreams, however, and it started a life-long obsession.  Anyone who knows me knows that I am a dream fanatic.  I wake up each morning remembering at least one dream that I had the night before—usually more than one dream. It’s definitely the fun fact I would give (that no one would pay attention to) on Jeopardy.

            Unfortunately, my graduate school didn’t offer any coursework in dream interpretation—I doubt that any schools in the US do.  It’s one of those things that has fallen out of popularity as psychology has become more scientific and less analytic.  The truth is, there’s not much science to dreams.  We don’t even really know why we dream, much less what those dreams really mean.  I think science is extremely important and I also think that there are some things it might never be able to explain.  When a client starts telling me about a dream they had, I can’t help but get excited.  Do I have a scientific or evidenced-based interpretation of their dream?  No.  Can I still use it therapeutically?  Absolutely, yes.  Here’s what I look for in my own dreams and the dreams of clients and friends who are willing to share with me.

SYMBOLISM

            Freud’s dream interpretations were filled with symbols that had specific meanings.  I remember buying a “psychology” book on dream interpretation that went over the meaning of hundreds of different symbols that appear in our dreams.  I’m not convinced that each tree in a dream represents a penis.  Freud is famous for sexualizing a lot of what happens in our minds, and maybe he was 100% right, but I tend to think not.

            I’m not trained in psycho-analysis, so take what I’m saying with a grain of salt.  I also have enormous respect for Freud.  My own approach to dream interpretation, however, is much less sexual in nature.  I don’t think that there are universal symbols that mean the same thing in each person’s dreams.  How could there be?  We each have such different associations with objects, people, and places.  I don’t think there’s any way something could mean the exact same thing for more than one person.  I do, however, agree that our dreams are filled with symbols.

            How do we make sense of these symbols if they could mean something different to each person?  I think it starts with exploration.  Let’s say someone has a dream that they are trying to deliver a DVD of the movie Step Up to a friend of theirs, a scenario that seems fairly benign.  Many would probably write it off altogether and dig no deeper.  Let’s try to dig deeper.  Do they have any relation to the movie Step Up?  Maybe they saw it on the TV guide the night before but didn’t bother to watch it.  Okay, so we won’t pay attention to the title of the movie.  What’s important is that they were trying to deliver it to a friend.  A DVD could be a symbol for something bigger—maybe a piece of information.  After all, DVDs hold a lot of information; they hold emotions, thoughts, dialogues.  As you dig deeper, maybe you realize that there was something your client had been meaning to tell someone.  A DVD of Step Up has suddenly turned into a valuable piece of therapy.  Maybe the dream had nothing to do with what they brought up in therapy, but nonetheless, discussing the dream led to a real discussion about their friendship. 

PATTERNS

            With practice, everyone can remember their dreams.  It takes some concerted effort right when I wake up, but I can take myself back to where I had just been.  A lot of times, I only remember the tiniest detail.  Last night, for example, I woke up thinking I was just eating ice cream… I focused on that feeling, and the rest of the dream became clear.  Dream journaling seems to help people enormously.  Once you’re remembering what you’re dreaming consistently, it’s easier to look for patterns.

Looking at a single dream can be helpful but looking at patterns brings more awareness to how the brain works overall.  I’ve noticed that I tend to have nightmares when I’m stressed.  I’ve also noticed that I dream about water when I’m about to go through a big change—like graduating or moving.  Noticing those things is helpful because it gives me information about how different parts of my brain are communicating with each other.  My conscious mind thinks “hey, I’m moving! I’m going to be closer to my friends and start a new job! This is so exciting!” and my unconscious brain thinks “AHHHH THERE ARE SO MANY CHANGES COMING I AM DROWNING IN FEAR AND UNCERTAINTY”.  That must explain the crippling anxiety I feel at seemingly random times during my day!      

REFLECTIONS

            Dreams are a reflection of emotions we don’t always want to admit we have.  After a break-up I had before graduate school, I had a hard time admitting the anger I was feeling toward my ex.  I’m not an angry person and I try my best to be forgiving of others.  My unconscious, however, was not afraid to tell my ex how I felt in my dreams.  I spent many nights screaming my head off at this guy.  Almost a year after our break-up, I had a dream that I saw him at a wedding, he asked me to dance, and I did so as his friend.  I don’t know if yelling at him in my dream helped me forgive him, but I could see through my dreams how angry I was and then, finally, that I had forgiven him.

REACTIONS

            Therapeutically, I think one of the most important things is paying attention to our own reaction to our dreams.  The content could be horrific, or it could be simple.  But if it’s coming up again and again and people can’t stop wondering about it, it’s probably important.  A lot of times people feel perplexed by their dreams.  But how did they feel during?  Hopeless?  Lost?  Angry?  That emotion could be the reason they are holding on to whatever happened.  The content of our dream didn’t really happen (usually), but we absolutely felt that emotion; it happened chemically in our brain just as it would to something really going on.  Of course that sticks with us.    

CONCLUSIONS

            Dreams are complex, elusive, and often ridiculous.  I believe they can be helpful to us and give us insight into parts of our brain we don’t normally see.  We all live busy lives and we don’t always give our emotions the care and attention they deserve.  By paying attention to our dreams, we can get some insight into how we are really feeling.