Terms like “identity crisis” and “existential crisis” are thrown around a lot, often in a joking sort of way, e.g. “the line at Taco Bell was so long, I started having an existential crisis”.  Most people have a vague sense of what they mean, but probably not a clear definition.  It’s all fun to joke about, but they’re very unpleasant things to experience, and they’re often tied together.  What do they really mean?

An identity crisis is a period of time when someone is questioning who they are.  Our identity is not just one thing—I’m not just Grace—our identity is tied up into countless smaller parts.  I am Grace—a therapist, sister, daughter, woman, white, spiritual, athlete, aunt, friend, etc.  When one part of our identity is threatened, or about to end (being a student, let’s say), we often feel that we are losing a part of who we are.  Eventually, hopefully, we realize that being a student is not the entirety of our identity and the other parts are still there, and maybe now we have time to focus on them.  The same goes for ending a relationship, retiring, getting married, and countless other normal life situations.

When I finished graduate school in May, I felt like I was losing a huge part of my identity.  Before college, I was homeschooled.  School didn’t really feel like a big part of my life, and I definitely didn’t consider it essential to my identity.  My sport was my identity.  My artistic endeavors were part of my identity.  Going to college, I felt ready to leave my sport behind.  School and being a psychology major became huge parts of who I am.  I wore them proudly for six years.  As May approached and I knew graduation was imminent, I feared that loss.  I still feel the loss of not being in school, but over the summer I rediscovered parts of me that were left dormant while I was in college.  I love being creative, and this was something I didn’t get to nourish while in school.  I also love reading for fun, another thing that fell to the back-burner. 

I realize that this part of my identity is a normal thing to lose.  I also know that it isn’t really lost. I’m no longer a student, but that is still part of my past, as demonstrated by the fancy letters after my name. As far as identity crises go, I consider this one to be pretty minor and totally developmentally normal.  I think about athletes who have been training their whole life and experience a career ending injury, and my heart aches for them.  I think about people getting divorced after twenty years of marriage.  These are bigger examples of potential identity crises in the making.

What are the major signs of an identity crisis?

·         Feeling lost

·         Not knowing who you are

·         Not understanding your “purpose”

·         Fearing the unknown

·         Feeling trapped in your life-plan

If you’re feeling some or all of these things, know that it is normal.  It’s unpleasant and uncomfortable, but it’s part of how we grow and change as people.  Therapy can help.  Reading and journaling can help.  Talking about it can definitely help.  It’s called an identity crisis because it can feel urgent and unsettling. I don’t know that it’s helpful to think of it is as a crisis, however, because I really think it can be a good thing. Perhaps our bodies are giving us that stress an anxiety to push us to answer these questions—and that’s okay. Whatever you’re going through, you don’t have to carry it alone.

I have included a little quiz at the end of this post to hopefully help others identify the potential of an identity crisis. Take the results with a grain of salt! It is meant to promote self-reflection and conversation :)

When I finished graduate school in May, I felt like I was losing a huge part of my identity.  Before college, I was homeschooled.  School didn’t really feel like a big part of my life, and I definitely didn’t consider it essential to my identity.  My sport was my identity.  My artistic endeavors were part of my identity.  Going to college, I felt ready to leave my sport behind.  School and being a psychology major became huge parts of who I am.  I wore them proudly for six years.  As May approached and I knew graduation was imminent, I feared that loss.  I still feel the loss of not being in school, but over the summer I rediscovered parts of me that were left dormant while I was in college.  I love being creative, and this was something I didn’t get to nourish while in school.  I also love reading for fun, another thing that fell to the backburner. 

I realize that this part of my identity is a normal thing to lose.  I also know that it isn’t really lost. I’m no longer a student, but that is still part of my past, as demonstrated by the fancy letters after my name. As far as identity crises go, I consider this one to be pretty minor and totally developmentally normal.  I think about athletes who have been training their whole life and experience a career ending injury, and my heart aches for them.  I think about people getting divorced after twenty years of marriage.  These are bigger examples of potential identity crises in the making.

What are the major signs of an identity crisis?

·         Feeling lost

·         Not knowing who you are

·         Not understanding your “purpose”

·         Fearing the unknown

·         Feeling trapped in your life-plan

If you’re feeling some or all of these things, know that it is normal.  It’s unpleasant and uncomfortable, but it’s part of how we grow and change as people.  Therapy can help.  Reading and journaling can help.  Talking about it can definitely help.  It’s called an identity crisis because it can feel urgent and unsettling. I don’t know that it’s helpful to think of it is as a crisis, however, because I really think it can be a good thing. Perhaps our bodies are giving us that stress an anxiety to push us to answer these questions—and that’s okay. Whatever you’re going through, you don’t have to carry it alone.

I have included a little quiz at the end of this post to hopefully help others identify the potential of an identity crisis. Take the results with a grain of salt! It is meant to promote self-reflection and conversation :)

Be sure to follow me on Facebook and Instagram to stay up to date on future content! You can find me at gracewood_therapy.