I want to start this by saying that dating is always difficult. I don’t know if there has been a time or a place where dating was easy. It’s vulnerable, it’s frustrating, it’s time consuming. Dating in 2020 is a different story. Many people are going through quarantine-related break-ups, others are finding quarantine boyfriends and girlfriends. How can single people navigate this changing scene?  

I know it can feel like COVID has put our whole lives on hold, but it doesn’t have to.  If you were dating before, you can continue dating. If you were single before, don’t be afraid to jump into the dating scene now. It’s different, but it’s still there, and it’s not so scary. Now, more than ever, it’s important that we have connection with others.  Here are some steps to help get you through with intention, compassion, and understanding.

1. Be flexible.

   We can’t meet at a coffee shop or restaurant or bar.  The normal date “go-to”s are off the table.  This doesn’t mean dating is impossible!  Get creative and be flexible. You can meet outside (with facemasks!) for a walk (unless you’re in the south where it is a constant sauna outside). You can have a socially distant picnic. You can meet somewhere pleasant to watch the sunset.

2. Don’t fear FaceTime.

   FaceTime dates might seem weird and awkward at first, but like dating in person, it’s only as awkward as you make it.  Call someone up.  You can see their face, hear their voice, and have a lovely conversation--all without leaving the comfort of your bed. You can eat dinner or drink a glass of wine together--separately. It’s not so bad.

3. Recognize your feelings.

   This is a step in any sort of dating, but especially now, it’s important to recognize what your hopes are in dating. Are you looking for a serious relationship, or someone to pass the time with? Whatever you’re looking for is totally fine. Just remember to be honest with yourself and the people that you’re dating.

4. Reach out to other supports in your life.

   Often, our romantic partners are some of our biggest supporters. If you don’t have that right now, it’s important to get support from friends and family. There’s a lot of emotion in our world right now, and that can be a lot to put on someone that you’re freshly dating. Talk to your friends and family so that you’re not spilling all your negative emotions over a FaceTime date!

5. Take breaks.

   It’s okay if dating doesn’t feel like the top priority for you right now. You can always take breaks, focus on hobbies, focus on feeding yourself and meeting your needs as best you can. There’s no pressure to find a partner right now.

Above all, be kind and compassionate with yourself.  Dating is tricky, and this whole year is tricky.  We don’t know how long this virus is going to be affecting our lives, so we can’t let it make us put everything on hold.  We have to find ways to adapt and make the most of our lives in the world we live in now, while doing our best to protect our future (i.e., being socially distant and wearing face masks).

If the dating scene has you in the dumps, you can always schedule an online session here.

EDIT: Recently I went on a podcast to talk about this very subject! You can watch that podcast here.