Do you spend a lot of time wondering what your purpose on Earth is? Do you wonder what it is you’re supposed to be doing? Does it sometimes feel like everything you’re doing is meaningless, because we’re all just tiny specks on a tiny planet floating through a massive, unexplored, misunderstood universe?
I know the feeling.
Those thoughts could all be related to an existential crisis, which is basically just a time when we’re questioning our meaning in life. They call it a “crisis” because it 100% feels like one. Though there’s no immediate emergency, it can feel like something you have to find the answer to or else your head might actually explode. Unfortunately, there’s not any clear answer. That makes us more stressed. I wish I had an easy answer to the meaning of life, but no. Instead I have some tips to help you find your meaning, or at least make enough sense of it to continue your life in the midst of this crisis.
Talk it Out
The meaning of life isn’t something we necessarily bring up on a night out on the town with friends. Maybe it is. But either way, it’s important to be talking about. The crisis can feel very alone, very isolating. It might feel like “why bring this up when nothing matters anyway?” Bring it up anyway.
This is a common feeling. People have been writing about it, thinking about it, talking about it since they’ve been alive to do so. There’s a good chance your friends have thought about it too. Whether they have an answer that suits you or not, it’s nice to know you’re not alone in what you’re feeling. It’s also such a relief to get something so hefty out of your head. You don’t have to carry the search for the meaning of life all on your own.
2. Read (or listen)
Maybe you get comfort from reading The Bible. Maybe it’s Sartre. Maybe Viktor Frankl. There’s no shortage of religious figures, philosophers, and other scholars who have covered the topic. There are podcasts, audiobooks, movies, and TV shows that address it. Allow others to help you shape your thoughts and feelings. You don’t have to adopt their opinion as your own, but maybe you’ll read or hear something that really resonates with you and gets you thinking differently. My recommendation is always Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl.
“Those who have a ‘why’ to live, can bear with almost any ‘how’.”
3. Dive Deep
Sure, reading/listening is helpful, but it’s not going to do any good if you’re not diving into yourself and making your own meaning. What do you value in life? What brings you joy? What brings you down? Write down your top values. You can come up with a list on your own, or take a questionnaire like this one. Positive psychology research shows us that we are happier when we live our life in accordance with our values. That means that if your top value is creativity, but you don’t do anything creative anymore, you’re probably going to be unhappy. If your top value is love but you’re spending all your time at work or sleeping, you’re probably not going to be happy either.
Remember that you’re not trying to find the meaning of life, really; you’re trying to find what it means to you. There’s no way to do that without looking at yourself and your life.
Think back to moments in your life when you had a strong sense of purpose. What were you doing then that you’re not doing now? What was different and what was the same?
4. Create
Write, paint, draw, cook—whatever brings you joy. Remember that you are on this planet, and though you might not know how or why, you can add to it. You can share things with others that they’ve never seen, heard, felt, or tasted before. That’s a gift.
It doesn’t matter whether whatever you make is “good” or not, it just matters that you brought something into creation. Good for you!!
5. Help Others
People need other people. We wouldn’t have survived this long if we didn’t have that innate need for closeness. Closeness means safety. It means there’s someone looking out for us, and it makes us feel good to look out for them.
I’m not saying help others because it’s the “right” thing to do (even though it is a nice thing to do!), in this case I’m saying that it might help bring some of that meaning back into your life. I don’t know what our purpose here is, but I know that pretty much everyone finds joy in offering help to others. It give us a sense of connection. It reminds us there’s kindness in the world. It reminds us there’s gratitude.
6. Practice Mindfulness
Throughout your journey to find meaning, take the opportunity to practice mindfulness. Acknowledge any thought or feeling you have with curiosity and openness. If you’re having thoughts that seem to go against what you believe, look at those with wonder. How interesting that you’re having that thought now, after all this time. I wonder what that’s about. There’s no “right” or “wrong” to these questions, which can be frustrating, but it can also be a relief. There’s no reason to judge yourself for anything that comes up. You’re just a human trying to figure things out, like many humans do.
Be kind to yourself! What you’re going through is normal. It might have happened before, and it will likely happen again. That means you’re growing. The process is all part of your growth, through ups and downs. If you need additional support, consider seeking therapy.
*”Existential crisis” type thinking can also be related to depression. If you are experiencing other symptoms of depression (e.g. trouble sleeping, weight gain/loss, suicidal thinking, loss of joy around things that used to make you happy), you might need more than this list can give to you. Consider seeking therapy for additional support.
